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*   15 November 1998: SO THIS IS THE INTERNET WE'RE ON NOW

     Any self-respecting person would spray their coffee after reading the previous header. So while you swab the Frappuchino out of your keyboard, we're pleased to announce that Townies' catalog is available for purchase through several online mega-stores, including:

     Now you can add to your record collection, while keeping the dream alive for an earnest group of musicians. sHOP FOR US ON THE wEB TODAY, BEFORE YOUR cAPS lOCK KEY GETS STUCK.

*   1 July 1998: Can We Borrow A Feeling?

     For the last six months, it appeared to the world as if we'd been sucked into a black hole from which even Borgnine couldn't escape. But what if, in fact, we had been? Then maybe the twisted laws of physics would account for the manner in which our last album vanished from the in-boxes of our industry peers. Was it treasure or trash? Primrose path or brimstone path? Like a jilted bride, we swig from the nearest open bottle of Moët and wonder if they're scared of commitment, or if we're just too plain and tall for their tastes.

     We've always depended on the kindness of strangers as well as friends, so if we have to play the courting game, we're there like Sadie Hawkins with a jet-pack.

     It would be worse if we didn't have lives outside our modest musical aspirations.

     At times when it seems as if the only band support we have is imprinted with the word Jockey, it's fortunate we know folks like those at SAM Records who help distribute our CD catalog domestically and internationally, as well as through the Web. And John Foster, who keeps on producing striking artwork (see the cover of our Pluperfect EP). And the many people who have crossed state lines in order to play with us or watch us perform (caution, only a musical group can post that last sentence without staring at jail time).

     Group hug, everyone.

     OK, that's enough, people are gonna talk.

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